Home Alone

Over two thousand is the number of days that I have been a Stay-At-Home-Mom. In all this time I have learned how to keep the kids entertained, fed, clothed and busy most of the time. We had a great thing going -especially over the summer break when the three of them were home.

The first-grader and kindergartener started school back up last week and though, I expected a stage of readjustment, I didn’t anticipate my toddler’s broken heart. Being the third child, she has been surrounded by other kids all her life.

Sure, we had days last year in which it was only her and I “hanging out” as the other were at school/preschool. However, that did not prepared her for the loneliness that having two siblings attending school full-time represents.

Every school day she has come to the breakfast table and gotten ready at the same time than her siblings. She has put her shoes on and even brought a backpack to the bus stop. She has kissed me and said good-bye as the bus approached us only to have her stay back with me. “No!” she screams every time. “I go” she struggles to say in between sobs.

She calms down after 10-15 minutes but then she is just sad and more attached to me than ever. I feel bad for the little one, because even though I keep her occupied and around kids most days, she still misses her buddies.

It makes me very sad to witness such heartbreak and it also makes me wonder what will be of me once she leaves for school too.

Will I be ready to let them go? Will I have figured out by then what is it that I want to do about my professional life? Professional? I don’t even know what I may want to do even with my personal life!

Oh, oh! I think both my toddler and I have lots of adjusting to go through this school year (and the ones to come). Wish us luck!

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