Gone With The Wind

I woke up this morning having slept only a few hours do to the great excitement that boarding a plane to meet my husband’s family was bringing me. I rushed through the morning routine with that feeling that you only get when you are doing something monumentally significant -like the day of your wedding or the moment when you grab your bags and you head to the hospital to welcome your baby.

Finally the day of our journey to Lebanon had arrived!

The suitcases were almost ready and the kids were at a friend’s house as I ran around the house cleaning, dusting, washing clothes in preparation to our leaving on vacation. I rushed to get the children so that I would have enough time to give them a bath and put them in their pj’s before their dad would get home at 3 o’clock so that we would all be ready to leave for our trip.

The suitcases were packed, the snacks ready, the iPad loaded with movies, the cameras charged, the diapers organized, my mail on hold at the post office, my email and phone with vacation greetings, my fridge empty, and my heart and soul already on travel mode when I heard my phone ringing at quarter to three. It was my husband informing me he had canceled the trip.

My heart stopped but then I thought he was joking, after all, he was supposed to come home to finish doing last minute things together in 15 minutes.

But he wasn’t joking. He was very serious, very sad, very much brokenhearted. His mother had called informing him of the escalation of the tensions in Lebanon due to the current Syrian situation and was no longer a good idea for us to go there on vacation. And just like that, in a matter of minutes, our travel plans disappeared between the fiber optic of a couple phones and a computer.

Disappointment is a very mild word to describe what we are feeling. I’m sad, frustrated but at the same time thankful for being able to change our plans on time. My husband… well, I don’t even know what to say about how he feels. It is as if he had spent eleven years building this tall, big and beautiful sand castle and suddenly the wind had just blown it away.

I ache for him but even more so for my mother-in-law who was waiting at a beauty salon in Lebanon getting ready to welcome her first-born back into her home when she heard on the news that numerous embassies were warning their citizens in Lebanon to leave the country. I can’t imagine her heart shrinking, her conscience battling against her heart. Her longing for finally holding her son and his children shattered. She wanted to protect us so she decided to call us and urge us to cancel our trip despite all what she had done in preparation for our arrival.

My eyes well-up as I type this entry but not because we had to cancel our trip. I cry because of the great love that my husband’s mother has towards her son that even though she was so close to having him in her arms again, she made the phone call that made us stay away of harms way but also from her.

What a strong woman! I hope I can get to meet her in person very soon.


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