Don’t get mixed up with Halloween costumes, I’m not talking about dressing up when I say that I am not Wonder Woman. What I’m talking about is one of my biggest charms (or flaws depending on which angle you are reading this from). I am compulsive over-achiever who on the top of that is a go-getter. This may sound great at a job interview (at least I think so) but lately, it has been the biggest obstacle between stress and happiness for me.
I have to admit that not only do I pay attention to what people say but I also imagine what they may think when they see me or how clean/organized my house is and how well-behaved my children are. Yes, I have that need to keep everything pristine and everyone under control.
I had been successful at managing a household, a child and a healthy marital relationship -all while still having time to Facebook and to go out with friends. But then my second baby arrived and when attempting to have a clean house, a happy toddler, a content baby and dinner on the table every night, I found myself frustrated and constantly unhappy because of the consistent failure to meet my unrealistic expectations.
It has taken me about a month, many tears and many hours of conversation with other moms and with my life-long friends to finally admit that I am NOT Wonder Woman and I would never be her. Now that I’m seeing myself through different eyes though, I also realized that I don’t really want to be Wonder Woman -always trying to achieve perfection at every task. What I want is to be happy and to enjoy my children and my husband, to live life without having to worry if my furniture shows a week-long’s dust or if dinner just consists of a one course meal.
I really don’t know how to stop my over-achieving impulses but I’m trying to learn how to prioritize and how to say “no” to myself so as not to overbook my life and my kids’ lives. It is a hard condition to “heal” from but I hope that with the kind reminders of my mom-friends, I learn to accept the fact that motherhood isn’t perfect, pristine or clean; it is just something wonderful that fills your heart with a collection of moments that nothing else in life can give you and that is better than being Wonder Woman.