Circus Freak

The circus was in town so we decided to take our 19-month-old girl. She’s just at that age where we get “whoa’s” out of everything and since she loves animals, we thought it would be a great time. We brought the 8-week-old baby along because we didn’t stop to think if the loud music or lights were going to bother him -In retrospect, I’m not sure it was the best idea ever.

The show started and just as we anticipated, our girl was screaming with excitement -I think I payed more attention to her happy reaction than to the performers the majority of the time- but all the noise woke the little baby up. Though he had just eaten before leaving the house (so less than an hour had passed), he decided he needed to be fed again, so of course, I, the second-time-around-mother, decided to take out my cover and nurse him right there in my seat.

Very used to nurse pretty much everywhere so long “my girls” are guarded behind my nursing cover, I didn’t think twice about following the feeding business as usual. After the baby was latched on and happy in my arms I came out of my little mom-baby world and noticed a couple of things:

  • We were seating on stadium seating, which only means that the persons behind me see over my shoulder.
  • The opening of my nursing cover that lets me check on the baby was definitely big enough for any of the neighbors behind my back to take a peak as well.
  • They only deemed the lights at the circus and I was seated just below one that pretty much placed me on the spot light.
  • There are always kids at the circus and kids are ALWAYS curious.
  • No matter how loud a show is, one’s ears are powerful enough to hear what one most fears: “Mommy, what is that baby doing?”

Yep, I felt “busted” just like when you are 16 and your father catches you sneaking in the house pass your curfew. So I blushed and when I looked around me, I realized that many people had noticed my not-so-discreet nursing habits and some (mostly children) were looking at me as if I was a “circus freak”. I did get understanding looks from some moms in the audience though, so that made me feel a little less embarrassed. I still wondered how much more ahead of their classmates the kids who saw me (if there were a few of them) would be in anatomy class.

Will I continue to nurse in public? YES! I only hope that if it happens at the circus again, I at least get some sort of ovation from those who see my show :).


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