ForeignMom's Blog

Bicultural mom adjusting to motherhood in a foreign country

International Frienships That Last Through The Years March 23, 2011

Everybody should have at least one special friend who they can share EVERYTHING with and who can understand them completely. I am very lucky to have a few of such friends but I think the one who gets me the most is my friend currently living in Toronto. Her life and mine are so similar, yet so different that she can always understand my perspective and offer me new views for every situation.

We met in Costa Rica, though we both grew up in Mexico. Not only did we share many things that related us from our lives in our home country but we also lived many experiences in our new school that brought us very close together. It is funny but at the end of our only year together, we both ended up moving to an English-speaking country to start our college education. Since then, we have never been at the same place other that to visit each other.

It’s been more than nine years since we met and we definitely had our rough patches, but her friendship is one of the most valuable I have ever had in my life. To this day, whenever I have something important to tell someone, if she isn’t the first one I call, she’s definitely among the first.

I don’t care we don’t see each other often, or that it has been 2 years since we last had a cup of coffee in the same room, her and I have a very special connection that makes sharing anything with her as easy as with myself. It is perhaps because our paths draw so many parallels like falling in love with a foreigner while studying abroad later to marry him. Or like having to be content with a job that wasn’t our dream job just because it provided a work visa or something to do for ourselves while our husbands built their careers. Or, perhaps the fact that we are both the nerdy, intellectual type combined with an eternal romanticism that makes us hard for others to understand but perfect for each other to connect.

Maybe it is the fact that we were born only one day apart. I don’t know, but the truth is that even though she decided to get a masters degree while I chose the path of motherhood, we still have the rare ability to relate to each other like we can with no one else.

It’s just that when I tell her I’m homesick, she not only knows the word, she knows the burning feeling inside one’s soul because she also feels it at times. When I tell her that not earning an income makes me feel like I’m betraying all the feminists before my time who made education and careers possible for women, she gets me because she’s had days like that too. And when I share with her my fears of not being able to find myself as an individual after being a housewife and stay-at-home-mom, she understands because even though she hasn’t been through it, she has the almost magical ability of walking on my shoes through every situation.

It would be great if all the special people in my life could live close to me, in the same city, but choosing the path of global citizenship is one that inevitably brings us closer to someone only to draws apart (at least physically speaking) from someone else. It’s hard not to share in person life’s special moments with the people who care for you the most, but at least we can count ourselves lucky of living in the era of free Skype and international social networks that allow us to keep in touch, with whom we can’t always hug.

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