ForeignMom's Blog

Bicultural mom adjusting to motherhood in a foreign country

I Am Not The Only One December 8, 2010

Filed under: Living Abroad,Living in the US,Making Friends — ForeignMom @ 8:36 pm

All this time, I have been sharing the difficulties and fun experiences of being a new mom in a foreign country but I have never taken the time to talk about my husband or any of his experiences.

He too was an international student who after graduation found a job and decided to stay in the US. For at least the last 5 years, he has focused all his energies into his career, in getting a better position, in obtaining a master’s degree and in just moving ahead from where he started.

Now that we have a daughter, he’s started to think about what else would he like to have in his life and the other night shared it with me. Both of us left our home countries when we were young and had tons of friends that we hung out with all the time. Now that we are here and out of school, we both feel that is very hard to meet people but at least, I am a stay-at-home-mom who is constantly running into other moms and making connections that way.

His experience is a very different one. He’s completely absorbed by his job so he puts long hours in the office every day, by the time he comes home, he barely sees our daughter and then, just like that, another day is gone. Many of his good friends have moved out of town and others lead very different lives so it’s hard to get together. He feels lonely and often times, especially around the holidays, homesick. And to think that I am the one constantly complaining about not having many people close by.

Maybe is time to make an effort to meet couples rather than just other women and include my hubby in the fun world of grown-up (non-romantic) dating.

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One Response to “I Am Not The Only One”

  1. Kelly Says:

    Wow, that must be so difficult for him. I know Matt struggles with this as well, and he grew up in Michigan. He works crazy hours, only to get home just in time to say goodnight, and sometimes not even early enough for that! I can’t imagine the lonely feelings that your husband must have being so far away from home on top of that. If we are ever back in Michigan full time, we would love to get together with you as “couples” even if the kids are here too. =)


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